Sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan and you feel yourself slipping away from grace and into an oblivion of utter confusion. The constants in your life aren’t constant anymore, and things are changing rapidly. Before you know it, everything that was once perfect around you has crashed to the ground in a disgraceful way.
So I ask you: to where will you run?
God is right there. Open arms. Willing. Wanting. Full of love. Full of light. Yet we hesitate to go to Him. Instead, we turn away because we don’t feel worthy. We don’t feel worthy because of our mistakes, our sins, our actions; we let ourselves get in the way of peace and happiness. Constant doubt, fear, and worry plague our minds too often. There’s so much more for us here than to live a life feeling like we can’t ever measure up. But we weren’t made to be perfect. We were made to make mistakes. Because when we make a mistake — that’s where we find grace through faith.
Mistakes can make us feel as if we’ve failed. Like we’re past the point of saving. Like we can’t be redeemed. My friend once told me, “I think that’s why we have to make mistakes sometimes. . . because later on when we find ourselves feeling alone and lost again, we can remind ourselves that we can make a difference in our own life and we can teach ourselves through the pain we made all by ourselves, and in a little way it’s really redeeming.” I think it’s very important to be able to redeem yourself, through yourself, but I think it’s vital that we learn how to go to God for redemption.
Sometimes I seem to remember every bad thing I’ve ever done, every wrong action, every bad thought, every thing that should never have been said. It’s times like those when I can’t even think about asking God for help. I feel too disgusted, too vile, too filthy to go to Him. But that’s when He wants us to go to Him. In our muck, our grievances, our sins are what He washes clean. We need God. And our past shouldn’t keep us from running to His arms.
Even in your pain, your doubt, your suffering: God is there. I promise you. In our times of desperation, when we feel so lost; that’s when we can count on God to be there with us. He’s always here. Run to Him.