Normal People follows the lives of Connell and Marianne through the facets of friendship, romance, growing up, and learning to let go. They come from different social classes and as their lives intertwine over the years, they realize that they’re always meant to come back to each other. In the first pages of the book, we find a quote by George Eliot that sums up their relationship perfectly:

“It is one of the secrets in that change of mental poise which has been fitly named conversion, that to many among us neither heaven nor earth has any revelation till some personality touches theirs with a peculiar influence, subduing them into receptiveness.”

Marianne spends much of her life in solitude. She’s isolated from friends and family because neither understand or show love to her. Excelling in her studies and knowing that she’ll be going to college soon are motivations for her during the hardships she faces at home. Connell is a popular athlete and well liked among the town. By chance, he talks to Marianne, and quickly the two begin a secret relationship while they’re in school. His priorities are to maintain his social status among his peers and suggests to Marianne that she not tell anyone about their time together. Connell’s desires don’t faze Marianne since she understands his concerns regarding popularity; however, she tells him that she would never hide their relationship or pretend to not know him if others asked. He doesn’t understand her because he’s still caught up in status. She doesn’t dwell too much on why others dislike her, but instead looks toward her imagination for hope of the future.

“Marianne had the sense that her real life was happening very far away, happening without her, and she didn’t know if she would ever find out where it was and become part of it. She had that feeling in school, often, but it wasn’t accompanied by any specific images of what the real life might look or feel like. All she knew was that when it started, she wouldn’t need to imagine it anymore.” p. 11, Normal People by Sally Rooney

Since Connell has kept his relationship with Marianne a secret, he asks another girl to the school dance and this decision is a sort of breaking point for Marianne. She stops going to school and only returns to take her finishing exams. Connell finds himself confused at her absence and though she’s preparing for college, Marianne is once again, alone. She feels loneliness as if it were a winter coat that she carries with her. There’s nothing else to compare her experiences with so she doesn’t start to see that she can shrug off her coat until she’s left home. Great changes occur in each of the character’s lives when college begins. The solace Marianne finds within her own intelligence and college friends wakes her up and Marianne begins to experience the pleasures of a social circle. Connell, on the other hand, seems to slip into Marianne’s past shoes once he arrives in college. For the first time, he’s isolated from others and dwells on the consequences of his actions regarding his relationships and past priorities.

“Connell felt a pleasurable sorrow come over him, which brought him close to tears. Moments of emotional pain arrived like this, meaningless or at least indecipherable. Marianne lived a drastically free life, he could see that. He was trapped by various considerations. He cared what people thought of him. He even cared what Marianne thought, that was obvious now.” p. 26, Normal People by Sally Rooney

He eats by himself, studies alone in the library, and stays home instead of going out to meet people. All of his ideas of what his future would look like seem to be stilted by the realization that he didn’t actually know what he wanted for himself. We see a lot of his inner dialogue in this section of the novel, feeling his thoughts quite clearly as he spends time in college.

“Connell wished he knew how other people conducted their private lives, so that he could copy from example.” p. 51, Normal People by Sally Rooney

For much of the novel, the question of why follows both the characters and the reader. Rooney’s chapters go back and forth in time, showing us significant moments captured between Connell and Marianne both from high school and in college. They continually come back together, even when it’s clear to see that the timing is wrong and the communication is completely off. All of that to say, one of the clearest truths that Rooney writes is the fact that the impact from a singular person will ripple the very existence of someone else’s entire life. As Connell moves through college, he’s continually thinking back to his time with Marianne and basing many of his decisions on the influence she’s had over his thoughts. Whereas, Marianne finds herself in relationships that have her remembering the truths Connell taught her, good and bad, about loving another person.

“I love you. I’m not just saying that. I really do. Her eyes fill up with tears again and she closes them. Even in memory she will find this moment unbearably intense, and she’s aware of this now, while it’s happening. She has never believed herself fit to be loved by any person. But now she has a new life, of which this is the first moment, and even after many years have passed she will still think: Yes, that was it, the beginning of my life.” p. 46, Normal People by Sally Rooney

As the reader, one of the most frustrating elements of the book is Connell and Marianne’s miscommunication. There’s a painting I came across where both characters are sitting together, but the artist brushed a line of paint across their faces, thus hiding their emotions. This image fits the entire story of Marianne and Connell not feeling like they could speak to the other honestly or within the right time frame of their feelings. This, I believe, is the reason that they’re continually drawn back together. Even though they miss the mark so many times, at the root of each of their hearts, they know that they belong together and will one day see each other clearly.

“Marianne, he said, I’m not a religious person but I do sometimes think God made you for me.” p. 117, Normal People by Sally Rooney

Another beautiful element of Rooney’s novel is how she writes such a mundane story. We’re not met with mystery and action but instead the complexities of normal people walking through everyday life. From the very beginning of the story, we’ve seen that Connell and Marianne expect drastic changes to occur in their lives once they leave the familiarity of their hometown. Once they’re in college, both experience life in a sort of mirror-image to their past selves. Marianne’s life has laughter and the messiness of college relationships, while Connell experiences the same solitude in college that he watched Marianne live out back home. The realization that his college life doesn’t amount to anything devastates Connell.

“I just feel like I left Carricklea thinking I could have a different life, he says. But I hate it here, and now I can never go back there again. I mean, those friendships are gone. Rob is gone, I can never see him again. I can never get that life back.” p. 224, Normal People by Sally Rooney

Connell spends much of his time during the novel wishing that he were older and wiser so that his life will play out in a new and exciting way. Going to college doesn’t solve anything for him, but instead reveals the loneliness he’s always felt in such a vivid way that it dehabilitates him. The brightest moments of his life happen when he spends time with Marianne. He sees her interact with her peers and new boyfriends, all while saving space for him. The consistent kindness and vulnerability that Marianne shows Connell reveals his own mistakes to himself. He learns, very slowly, that the opinions of others are far less important than the beautiful girl that is Marianne, standing before him. As time passes, Marianne develops a new way of thinking: she knows that she’s worthy of the same kindness she’s shown others. All of the grief and mistreatment she’s endured has brought her to her current life–a good life. She knows that Connell was wrong for hiding their relationship while they were young, and she knows that both of them have had enough heartbreak to last for a long time.

“All these years they’ve been like two little plants sharing the same plot of soil, growing around one another, contorting to make room, taking certain unlikely positions. But in the end she has done something for him, she’s made a new life possible, and she can always feel good about that.” p. 272, Normal People by Sally Rooney

There’s a quiet insightfulness that Rooney displays in her writing. She captures the vulnerability of youth and the fascination humans have with social status and academic success. When reading Rooney’s novels, it sometimes feels as if a friend has penned a long letter to you over the years, providing updates here and there, but mostly to tell you the story of their everyday life. As the book concludes, it feels less like an ending but instead like a pause between chapters. Our characters have found a simple peace, if only for a little while.

“In the kitchen Marianne pours hot water on the coffee. The sky is low and woolen out the window, and while the coffee brews she goes and places her forehead on the glass. Gradually the mist of her breath hides the college from view: the trees turn soft, the Old library a heavy cloud. Students crossing Front Square in winter coats, arms folded, disappear into smudges and then disappear entirely. Marianne is neither admired nor reviled anymore. People have forgotten about her. She’s a normal person now.” p. 261, Normal People by Sally Rooney

Mistakes are a beautiful aspect of the human experience, especially when healing comes as a result of growing from such mistakes. Time moves on, friends come and go, and old lovers will remain faithfully in our memories. As we close the pages of Normal People, we’re not really saying goodbye to Connell and Marianne; rather, we’re simply popping out for a cup of tea and will be back to see them soon.